Limitations

These past two weeks have been a flurry of activity. Between the engagement, wedding planning (yes I am compulsive and have already began planning), and school starting back for my last and final semester, I have felt very little time to stop and breathe. I feel almost behind in some way. Not caught up. Scattered. I keep a "To Do" list on a bright blue post-it note in my appointment book that just seems to getting longer and not much getting checked off.

I was on my mat the other day, practicing in the corner (which has a very calming effect for some reason) and I began to think. Yes, thinking on the mat...something that I try to get away from. My mind is often a whirl of constant thoughts, concerns, anxieties. While for some people their bodies are their limitations, like their hamstrings are tight or their back hurts, for others it is their minds that present the limitations. I am in the latter of the two. Years of gymnastics have conditioned my bdy to be flexible and strong, and while it has also left me with some injuries that often rear their ugly heads from time to time, it is my mind that gets in the way. I think and over-analyze everything. I am constantly scrutinizing my practice, my asanas, my life in general. As I head into this coming semester with a new preceptor and a new clinical site, I am thinking about all that can go wrong. Not wrong with birth, but wrong with me. What will I forget? What will I mess up? What chapter in Varney’s will I skip over in my brain? I know this is ridiculous. I know deep down inside that I have gained a lot of skills and know how to manage a lot of different situations, but just like on my mat, my mind is my limitation.

In looking back at last semester I am trying to remind myself of the big over-arching things I have learned. Here they are:

1. If you just sit back and watch, birth will happen...especially if you trust it

2. Always, always, always bring a second pair of scrubs to a water birth

3. Never underestimate a 5th time mom with a small baby...they can be a shoulder dystocia

4. 3rd babies are stubborn and love to follow their own path. All bets are off!

5. I do not like to rupture membranes

6. No woman has an estimated blood loss of 150cc

7. Tug-of-war is a great way to get a first-time mom to deliver

8. 4 hours of pushing is exhausting (for the mom too:), but with a little Beyonce is the background to motivate mom it is all good

9. A "test push" can most definitely deliver a baby

10. I love midwifery