Sunday, September 27, 2009

Sweet Sweet Practice...Lessons Learned

Today was my first day back to Yoga Squared since last Sunday. Y2 is my home away from home. It has been my constant in a world full of chaos and disorder. I have been practicing there for almost two years, in the morning, six days a week. This is the first time I have missed a week straight of morning practice. This has caused me great anxiety and sadness. My yoga practice is my center. It grounds me. It teaches me how to deal.

A few weeks ago I blogged about the plateau in my practice. That I had hit a lull and a stillness. Today's practice, however, was completely the opposite. I was thrilled to have my alarm go off this morning, and wasnt even agitated when the parkway was closed and I had to divert around the city. When I arrived I was greeted by just the person I wanted to see, Karen, one of my teachers. Her face has met me at the door so many mornings, but this morning brought such relief. She asked me how I was and I spilled the beans. It was then that she said exactly what I needed to hear. "This is good for you. It is temporary and is just what you need." There was no concern about my dedication to the practice or lack of trying to make it to the studio, all that was there was love. Have I been looking at this all wrong? I have been so disheartened by not making it to the studio. So angry at the disruption in my life. Frustration about my lack of control. Oh, Karen...she knows me too well. There is a lesson here, isnt there? I will learn something from all this. Maybe to let go of what I cannot control. I cannot change my schedule. It is what it is, and I must do what I can do. In those words Karen gave me permission to relax and try to accept where I am. Who knew it was not as tragic as I created it to be. Practice was so so sweet today. Juicy from start to finish.

I realized this morning as I practiced, that it is not just about the physical practice of yoga. When I could not practice this week at the studio, I practiced alone at home, but it is not the same. I felt it deeply today, while on my mat, that I had come in touch with what makes morning practice at Y2 so special and transformative. It is the people. We come together as this collective whole, committed to practicing together. We meld our breath into one. I gather so much energy and strength from my friends and fellow practitioners. When I am low their energy lifts me, and in turn I hope I lift them. Our struggles, on and off the mat, become a group effort. There is a connection that is almost tangible. It sounds so cheesy and corny, and I am sure that the impact does not translate into words, but to sweat, learn, grow, struggle together is immeasurable.

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