Tomorrow I leave for Texas. This was a trip planned prior to my father's death and something that I know he would want me to do. However, as I sit here at my mother's computer, with 3 recent photos of my father in front of me, I am reluctant to go.
Dealing with death is a funny thing. As a health care provider, I have read the stages of grieving. I know the importance of acceptance. I know the importance of not pretending it doesn't exist. As a human being and daughter, none of these things make sense to me. I went home to Rhode Island after his death and dove back into work, keeping up my house, and dinner with friends. Texas means I have none of those distractions. I will have to face his death and that pain it has left. This, I know, I am not good at.
I am hoping that my trip to Texas will be a positive one. A time to remember all the amazing things that made my father who he was. To remind me he is always with me in heart and spirit.
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